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Entry Title
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Posted
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Being a black girl is hard
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I totally agree with you Im a 26 year old black female, I dont hold a degree, some college, and my dad wasent always there for my brother and I (for the most part...) I was raised very well, Im very respectable and considerate of others, always have been. I never was really into boys much until I was almost out of H.S. I was very much into the books at that time. I always believed in doing things right. Yeah...I married young, but only because I believed in those strong maritial terms, and being pregnant I wanted a husband to share my life with. Well in spite of our slight differences (him being younger and me being older) we still tried to get along the best way we could. I was the one working and holding it down for the most part when he wasen't able, but soon he did it..."YES" he cheated.... and not once, after all I did for him, I was this man's backbone, I would have died for him, yes indeed, "he hurt me bad". So bad I had to go to therapy and take medication (depressants) I lost sooo much weight I looked very thin, I wouldent eat, I onced even tried to jump out of a running vehicle on the highway when he told me some girl was pregnant by him, and my hair was comming out at only 20! And I have beautiful long hair, lol.... I did not know that would have an effect on me. I have had other failed relationships before him as well by other black men, But he was the last straw. He even put me out of his place and I had to take my 16 month old daughter and go live in a rott infested shelter. I was too proud to go back home. My family and friends always known me to be an independant female. I had always worked because I liked to have nice things, but after I met him it's like everthing started to fall. Anyway that was years ago and I've learned my lesson, to put "ME" first. And over the years I began to come to the 1 conclusion....I seem to attract the wrong black men and i've gotten fed up with it. "Well" of course you know I got a divorce, I now own my own house, and have a nice car. I do alot of traveling now, I can afford to buy my daughter whatever she wants ("just about"), Im a workaholic and I keep my daughter busy as well, she now takes cheerleading and gymnastics, her father, my x-husband has tried to come back begging for forgiveness, he looks like a "homeless case" but he already knows I could never be with him again "EVER". He can see that im living good now and he can't stand it ( I could see it in his eyes) , "but hey", you know what they say what goes around comes around. I now date outside my race, i've been doing it for a while and it really isent as easy like you said. Although I have an advanced education and I was brought up with good morals, even though I went through all of those things it seems as though Im still having some slight hardships. I mean my finacial situtuation is alright, Im happy with my job , but all thats missing is a companion, and right now im just giving the brothas a rest. Somtimes I feel like my being black is the reason I've gone through those things. And yes i've tried to date white guys as well, but that isent as easy as it seems neither. It's as if we can't quite relate in some strange manor and the only way i've ever really met any is online, and I mean who wants that. It's not like they come up to me (or any black female) in public or at the bookstore or grocery store and introduce themselvs like the average black guy would. I mean as you know blacks are considered the lowest class on the face of this earth, they are looked at as having no identity what so ever, they are portrayed as being loud, lazy, ghetto or somthing in the negative stature, and somtimes yes I wish I could change my racial identity from black to somthing else, and not because of what other races portrayed blacks to be now and in the past as well as using the "negro" term, but simply because of the ignorance that blacks bring upon themselvs in today's society always blaming others for their neglegence and having an attitude as if sombody owes them somthing. So I see what you mean about god creating people the same cause I wish he did too then it wouldent be anything for anyone to say because everyone would look the same. So yes I agree It is hard being a black female. []
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2005-05-14 21:21:17 |
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Perfect Picture
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Lovely dream. To bad you probably will never read this. This is a dead diary. Nobody has writen in it in a long time.... how sad, lonely, old sad diary. Forgotten.... Still that was a very good dream. Maybe someday you will look back at this comment and wonder who wrote it and if they still write in their diary.... this feels empty... and useless. Like a dusty old science book... sad.[Anonymous]
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2005-04-24 13:05:18 |
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Being a black girl is hard
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im white and tried going out with a black guy its hard why cant we all be color blind [eminem_is_so_hot]
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2003-03-28 17:37:15 |
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I don't need a man!
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Bad Breath??? Ouch. And what race ARE you to cause that much trouble? [PrometheusX]
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2003-02-27 12:57:12 |
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Fear of getting pregnant
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please please please no matter what happens dont have an abortion...if you do get pregnant, it will be ok, read the thousands of teen diaries on here with 14 and 15 year old gurls that are pregnant...theyre ok, you dont need to murder an innocent child. i really hope everythings ok and everything works out, are u on birth control pills?? hopefully yawl will be alright, good luck. xoxo ~*meg*~ [RawkStarrMegz00]
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2003-02-08 21:25:51 |
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Before I go to bed tonight- thoughts
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parents... sometimes difficult to understand them, the same way they think about us, but we need to learn to live with them and respect each one the way they are, have a great day :) [forever a girl]
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2003-02-05 19:17:51 |
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Before I go to bed tonight- thoughts
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Hi Sharon-- I'm actually a Sharon also, but everyone calls me Sherry...its a long story...anyway, I wanted to tell you that what you wrote in mogget's diary about your grandmother's tombstone was wonderful. That is the best way to look at life. I think I have a pretty good grip on things sometimes then I hear something like that and it adds a whole new twist to it all. Oh--don't worry about your grades...if your mother wants you to make all A's then let her try and do it. Lets see how well she does! Its not an easy thing making the grades that you made! If I were your mother, I'd be extremely proud of you and happy for you as well. And a law degree...WOW! Like that's something to be ashamed of compared to pharmacy? I'd much rather tear some criminal apart with my words in a courtroom than compounding drugs for people. You just stick with it, chickadee! By the way--you're so smart to wait on the wedding thing...marriage and college don't mix very well, unless you have 150% support from your husband. Even then, its soooo hard. Not trying to discourage you, I just wish someone would have told ME that when I was in my first year of college. Take care! =)Sherry [goddess_in_pink]
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2003-02-03 09:36:54 |
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Before I go to bed tonight- thoughts
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Thank you for your comment. You sound interesting yourself. <33 Meg [MegaLz]
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2003-02-02 18:52:10 |
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Before I go to bed tonight- thoughts
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yeah, why wouldn't he kiss you? I think that sounds a bit rude. [mogget]
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2003-02-02 17:33:26 |
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Before I go to bed tonight- thoughts
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ps. why wudnt he Kiss you? U having problems ? Hope not. xx [Emotion_Sickness]
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2003-02-02 16:58:39 |
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Before I go to bed tonight- thoughts
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thanx for commenting. it was sincere. I always push my friends away when i see myself in trouble. Even though it aint there fault. This time my friend forgave me. What about the next time. Hope there aint a next time. I cudnt live withough nicola. She makes me have fun, and act stupid and be happy. xx [Emotion_Sickness]
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2003-02-02 16:54:55 |
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Perfect Picture
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A name to add to my baby name list For Boys: Zachary [PicturePerfect]
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2003-01-31 13:57:50 |
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My Bestfriends Wedding
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It's good to know you are happy :) btw, did u have another diary?? did I know you before? I don't remember, sorry... have a great day, hugs :) [forever a girl]
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2003-01-29 17:43:34 |
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My Bestfriends Wedding
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3 months? ohhh, is it really that wise for her to get married that soon? it's good that you're looking out for her though.. [lil_baby_g]
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2003-01-29 17:17:08 |
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Who am I?
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was that u that just left me a message? or 2 [Emotion_Sickness]
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2003-01-28 17:11:31 |
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Who am I?
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U can cry, dont feel its wrong. I do it all the time, just no-one sees [Emotion_Sickness]
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2003-01-28 16:17:17 |
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Who am I?
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Sorry that u followed what your mum wanted for a while. I guess my mum kinda forced me to do alotta shit i didnt wanna too. I just went along with it cuz i had nothing else to do with my life. It didnt get me anywhere. one wasted year at college, Just another year out my life wasted. Oh well... not many more :) xx [Emotion_Sickness]
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2003-01-28 16:15:54 |
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Who am I?
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i was in that situation myself once but i took the bad side and went compleatly nuts, now i dont even have a place called home. be lucky for what you got and can acheive [rocko_ie]
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2003-01-28 12:39:24 |
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Who am I?
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You blame your mom? You can blame yourself, as well, for willingly go through what she wanted. You're certainly old enough to make your own decisions for yourself, regardless what she wants. If you don't want to be a doctor, don't. She doesn't have to be okay with that, now does she? [PrometheusX]
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2003-01-28 11:58:30 |
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Butter and bread
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I hope things work out. [MakenZero]
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2003-01-27 15:07:58 |
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N/A
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I aint going to Uni. I left skool wen i was 16 and then went to college for a year and i work now in an office for 3 days a week. and i coach gymnastics 3 times a week too. :) Hope ur having a nice day xx [Emotion_Sickness]
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2003-01-27 14:40:47 |
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N/A
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Hey, Im just gonna read thru your diary now. My (female) best mate lives in Leeds its cool there. I was gonna go there next year to train to be a nurse. Either there or here in Newcastle I still havent decided xox Jenny xox [Miss Tyler Durden]
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2003-01-27 07:10:33 |
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N/A
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Hey. U seem like a really nice person anyways, behind all the problems. what you gonna do at uni then? Have a nice day xx [Emotion_Sickness]
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2003-01-26 15:39:15 |
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N/A
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By the way i forgot to say. Im 17 f from Scotland :) xx [Emotion_Sickness]
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2003-01-26 07:11:34 |
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N/A
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Ur diary Makes me really sad. I always think i have been through a bit of shit but when i read urs i feel lucky. I know my mum and dad arent together and dont really like each other but at least i know( or hope) they wudnt touch me with there anger. Anyways.. u kno if u wanna chat im here for u. (i kno everyone will say that and they dont mean it...But i do and if u wanna talk just leave a comment for me) xxx [Emotion_Sickness]
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2003-01-26 07:09:54 |
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man oh man
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oh man that must be shit. Why do mums go outta there way to make us feel bad. aint they suppose to tell us we are fine no matter what we look like? anyways , wher u from? wot age r u? [Emotion_Sickness]
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2003-01-25 17:18:58 |
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man oh man
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for as long as I can remember really. it's happened all my life. Of course my mum knows! when she's not the one being beaten, she's the accomplice of the crime! [PicturePerfect]
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2003-01-25 17:15:23 |
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man oh man
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im really sorry that u get beaten my ur dad. thats so shit. not trying to be nosey or anything but how long has it been going on. Does ur mum kno he beats u up? Anyways. if u wanna chat reply or i got MSN messager if u wanan chat there sometime xxx [Emotion_Sickness]
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2003-01-25 17:09:23 |
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man oh man
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people go through crap their entire life and no one gives a damn- it's ok, because I've accepted being beaten as a normal part of my life- you read my diary right [PicturePerfect]
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2003-01-25 16:55:49 |
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man oh man
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Wow thats shitty I hope your dad gets help [Anonymous]
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2003-01-25 15:55:54 |
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man oh man
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am I getting it right thats ur dad beats u and your mum up? or did i read that wrong? reply on my diary :) xx [emotion_Sickness]
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2003-01-25 15:49:04 |
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